I like to be an "involved" parent. I didn't know that would include head trauma. Their version of playing isn't, "Let's build with the Lincoln Logs." It's, "Hey, Daddy is kneeling, let's beat the crap out of him."

I suppose this is what you get when you start teaching your kids at three how to properly apply a sleeper hold. Although, that's a valuable life lesson - there is no problem that can't be solved with a properly applied sleeper hold.

I think I'll be OK if I can just teach them that there is a place and time. And it isn't when I'm standing around, not looking.

The other day the girl, dressed in a purple ballerina's outfit, comes up and hits me from behind in the head with a metal pole. Like my house is some sort of WWE experience.

Then the boy runs up, and drops an elbow right into my spine. Now, he's only six and about 50 pounds. But 50 pounds confined into an area the size of a quarter will break your skull. Now I'm ACTUALLY in pain. And just before it subsides.... he puts me in a choke hold.

He likes to get both arms around my neck, lean back and just pull. At this point I'm starting to get pissed.

"What the hell is wrong with you? Don't you see that hurts."

"But Dad ... you were suppose to tap out."

He does have a point.