This is my special talent - being unemployed. I'm really good at it. And I'm not so good at working. I was laid off twice in the span of 12 months. I've never been laid off from being unemployed. I don't understand why people are so eager to get back to work. Enjoy your time off. You may never be unemployed again. 

I'm a stay at home Dad. I referee kid fights, clean things that I use to never notice were dirty and cry at cotton ads. Although, I still don't think I'll ever know where some of the frying pans go. I really don't care what people think. We're Manwives, guys. (Unless you're a real wife. Then you become what we call setting back woman's rights)

Yes, I stay home all day. Yes, my button down shirts have not seen the outside of a closet in months. And, yes, I use a color wheel to match my curtains to the duvet cover. But I can sit around all day, work when I want to and when someone doesn't listen to me ... I send them to their room. Try doing that at your "job".

I never have to attend another meeting in my life. I couldn't be happier. I can't think of a more wasteful time than sitting around a table for two hours, listening to some executive drone on about the new "process" for holding pointless meetings. Now when I waste my time it's watching 16 and Pregnant on MTV.

I've had some great time to bond with the kids. There have been some great moments I've gotten to share with my children that I would have missed had I been working. We hang out together and play games like beer pong, and I show them how to take a charge in indoor basketball.

I taught my son the proper technique for an elbow drop. Although, looking back, that may have not been such a great idea. And I've watched my daughter master the art of passing wind on demand. It's absolutely amazing. Not sure where it will get her in life, but least she knows what her God-given talent is.

No one gives a crap about how "important" your job was. Even if you are important, it didn't stop you from being replaced by someone willing to take $15 grand less a year. You may have once been higher on the corporate ladder than me, but now we're both standing in the same government soup line. And I didn't have to work as hard to get here. So now who's smarter, Mr. important?